


running from nothing

by cinderlily



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M, angst and schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-08-14 23:25:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8033113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinderlily/pseuds/cinderlily
Summary: Duke had the habit of letting himself into Max’s place on days that they didn’t have practice. Max was generally asleep, even if he didn’t get there ‘til ten or so, so Duke would just curl up on the couch. He’d make coffee, ‘cause man, coffee, and throw on a stupid mindless movie and just wait it out for a while. Max, in general, would be preceded by his dog coming down the stairs, steal some coffee and they’d sit on the couch in silence ‘til one of them wanted food. Except, Orion started down the stairs… but it wasn’t Max behind him. It was a guy that Duke didn’t know wearing a pair of tattered jeans and one of Max’s shirseys. Duke’s eyes went wide and he paused like a deer in the headlights.





	running from nothing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LuciFern](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuciFern/gifts), [sly_fck](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sly_fck/gifts).



Duke had the habit of letting himself into Max’s place on days that they didn’t have practice. Max was generally asleep, even if he didn’t get there ‘til ten or so, so Duke would just curl up on the couch. He’d make coffee, ‘cause man, coffee, and throw on a stupid mindless movie and just wait it out for a while.

Max, in general, would be preceded by his dog coming down the stairs, steal some coffee and they’d sit on the couch in silence ‘til one of them wanted food.

Except, Orion started down the stairs… but it wasn’t Max behind him. It was a guy that Duke didn’t know wearing a pair of tattered jeans and one of Max’s shirseys. Duke’s eyes went wide and he paused like a deer in the headlights.

“Uh, hi?” the random guy said, once he got to the bottom of the stairs and found Duke there. Orion came and gave Duke’s hand a lick before going to the corner. (The dog was intuitive enough to know to give Duke a wide berth for his allergies.)

Duke swallowed a few times, his hand tightening around the mug in his hand. “Hi?”

“Who are you?”

The awkward moment was saved, slightly, by Max coming down the stairs double time. “Duke! I thought you were sleeping in this morning.”

“It’s 10:30,” Duke said, still staring at the other guy. “Have you taken your blood sugar?”

Max groaned. “Seriously, I just got my dad off my back. Yeah, I took my blood sugar. We’re all good. I see you met Brad.”

 _Brad_? Actual humans were named Brad? He looked their age, that was an impossibly made up name. Duke finally looked over at Max. “I guess I’ll head out. Give you and _Brad_ some … space?”

He got up to his feet and put his mug down on the center of the coffee table.

“Dude, you don’t have to go, we were just going to make breakfast,” Max said, putting a hand up in a half assed attempt to stall Duke.

Duke easily side stepped him. “Yeah, I’m good.”

He was out the door and into his car in under two minutes, having more or less stuffed his shoes on. He looked down at them, the crisp pair of Jordans he’d bought two weeks before looking a little crumpled and that was just a layer of shit frosting, wasn’t it?

Thankfully his apartment wasn’t _that_ far away from where Max lived, as he was entirely on autopilot for the drive home. He walked in and flopped down on one of the lazy boys that he, Connor and Tobi had gone in on in the off season.

Thankfully the guys weren’t home, off doing some filming for the arena screen breaks, because the last thing he needed was seeing those dumb asses and have them guess something was wrong. Connor had an annoying problem of only being perceptive when it was truly inconvenient for him.

It wasn’t like he didn’t know that Max was bi. Hell, _he was bi_. They’d connected over it at Juniors. (You get enough liquor inside you and you can connect over anything, but the Jonathan Toews ass appreciation was enough to connect them for life. That guy had the thighs of a god.)

But … Max hadn’t really hooked up much since they moved to Arizona. He definitely didn’t when they lived together. And maybe he’d done it over break but it wasn’t like Duke had been there to see it. That dude, _Brad_ , was definitely the right type. Tall as fuck, light hair. An ass that should have quarters being bounced off of it.

Just… It wasn’t. It shouldn’t bother him, he guessed. In fact he knew it shouldn’t. But he felt like something was crawling under his skin and he couldn’t stop it. He curled his fist up on the arm rest and then forced himself to relax it. His pocket was buzzing, over and over.

He grabbed it out of his pocket and was unsurprised to find a string of text messages from Max.

“ _Dude, way to be a totally rude dick._ ”

“ _Brad’s making pancakes, so fuck you._ ”

“ _Come on, come back. There is plenty of food._ ”

“ _What the fuck?_ ”

And then a series of emojis that ran the gambit of flipping him off to a long run of the poop emoji. Duke hit reply.

“ _Go eat with your boyfriend, Domi. And you call me the rude dick._ ”

He turned the phone onto ‘Do Not Disturb’ and shoved it into his pocket. He kind of wished he took the cup of coffee from Max’s house, ‘cause all they had was shit in their house and he didn’t want to bother making anything if it wasn’t good.

He forced himself up and walked to his room, collapsing on the bed face first and not bothering to pull up the covers before he fell asleep.

*

“I think he’s dead.” Connor’s voice woke him up a few hours later, he felt a small poke in his rib cage and he gave an annoyed hiss.

Tobi laughed. “Nah, just sleeping.”

“I WAS sleeping,” he corrected, moving to roll over onto his back. “What the fuck, guys?”

Tobi looked over at Connor, who looked back at Tobi and made a gesture that seemed to say, ‘Oh no, you go.’ He hated their weird telepathy.

“Is there a reason that Max refuses to come wake you up but has been annoying us to do so for over an hour?” Tobi asked.

He scooted up to a seated position really quickly. “Fuck, is Max here?”

Connor looked bemused. “Nah, he seems to think he isn’t welcome. Know any reason for that?”

Duke rubbed at his face with both hands, cursing in Quebecois and regretting a lot of his life choices. “No.”

“Super convincing, Dukes.” Connor nudged at him with his knee. “How do you survive scrums?”

He swung his legs over the side of his bed, thankful he was still clothed, even if it left him a lot less comfortable than he wanted to be. “I walked in on a booty call this morning.”

“Nice one, Max,” Connor said, raising a hand towards Tobi who opened his eyes wide in Connor’s direction. “So what, it was embarrassing? She one of your former girls?”

Duke winced a little. Man, if only. If freaking only. Then this would be something he would be able to laugh off. He’d be at Max’s right now, probably, throwing shit at him and calling him a thief. He would be able to hang it over his head and bat his eyes and get his way for awhile. Instead his stomach felt lead-lined and he was nauseated and annoyed and he was slowly realizing why which was the worst feeling ever.

“None of those,” Duke said. “Look, I’m not feeling well, I think I over worked at the game last night, is there anyway we could…”

Tobi interrupted him. “Connor, out.”

“What the FUCK?” Connor blinked at him. “I’m not a puppy, what the _actual_ fuck?”

Tobi turned and gave Connor a frown and tilted his head towards the door. “Connor. Please?”

Connor muttered, but made his way out the door only slightly checking Tobi’s shoulder in the process. Tobi, to his credit, didn’t move an inch and just rolled his eyes, waiting for the door to slam shut, which it did.

“So, Max had a guy over?” Tobi asked walking closer to Duke, his voice low, like he just figured that Connor was on the other side of the door listening in. Which he was, if the shadow was any indication.

Duke set his jaw and swallowed, giving a quick nod while looking past Tobi.

“And you were not okay with it.”

Duke bit at his lower lip. “I wasn’t _not okay with it_.”

That, as it turned out, was bad enough of a lie that they both just ignored it and Duke had to try again.

“I thought that I would be okay with it,” he said. “I thought it would be just like walking in on him with a girl. Except it wasn’t and I was kind of a dick. To be fair, the guy’s name was Brad. Who’s named Brad?”

“Richardson.”

Duke wrinkled his nose. “Well, it was a dumb name and the guy was... “

“Not you,” Tobi said, not even making it a question.

Duke shrugged. “You got it quicker than I did.”

“You have not seen the two of you together for the past year and a half,” Tobi said. “Dating without the sex. So, like married.”

“Har har har,” Duke said.

Tobi flexed his shoulders and Duke appreciated it for a second. Not that he’d hit that (he got the feeling he didn’t have dibs on him, were he to swing that way) but he had eyes. “First, you owe Max an apology, as he did nothing wrong. He can’t be held at fault for getting action.”

Duke let out a huff, because he really didn’t want to have to do that. There were few things he wanted to do less, actually.

“Second, you owe him an explanation.”

And that would be the thing he wanted to do less. He looked at Tobi for a long moment, half hoping Tobi would hear the ridiculousness of what he was saying and coming up with an alternate that was a lot less painful and would make the chance of him looking like a total ass a lot slimmer.

The chances didn’t look like they were in his favor, as after a minute Tobi held up two fingers.

“Two things,” Tobi said. “You want me to go with so that this is easier?”

How the fuck would that make this any easier? He didn’t ask, because Tobi might have some answer that would end up with Tobias Rieder coming with him to out a ridiculously dumb crush on his best friend _to his best friend_.

He picked up his phone and looked at the screen. He had sixty eight missed messages and twelve missed calls, let it never be said that Max wasn’t persistent as fuck when he wanted to be. He opened the messages.

(The last few were, ‘ _I fucking hate you right now, dude._ , _Call me, call me, call me_ ’ and ‘ _Don’t make me call your mom_.’)

“ _You better not have called my Mama_ ,” he sent.

There was an immediate, “ _You’re alive!_ ”

He bit his lip, considered what the best way to handle what had to be done would be and thought idly about cuddling up with his pillow and going back to sleep. Though he knew, with little doubt, Connor and Tobi were on the other side of his door waiting for him to come out, or at very least “casually” in the front room waiting for the same thing.

He started to type something, erased it, tried something else and then finally went with,

“ _You by yourself?_ ”

“ _Ugh, SERIOUSLY? Brad went home like three hours ago, you dumb fuck. What is your problem?_ ”

He exhaled, sliding his Jordans on and looking in the mirror at the creases on his face from how he’d slept. He sprayed himself with some cologne, feeling stupid as soon as he smelled it on his skin. Crush or not, it was still Max, not some hook up or a chick he needed to impress.

“ _I’ll tell you when I get there._ ”

He walked out of his bedroom and sure enough Connor was on the couch staring at ESPN talking about _football_ , and Tobi was sitting in a lazyboy looking _directly at him_. Duke gave a small nod to Tobi and Tobi nodded back.

“I’ll be back in a while,” he said. Longer if it went good, sooner if it was as much of a shit show as he was expecting. Tobi seemed to get that, Connor seemed to not at all.

"You know, there's Hard Apple Cider in the fridge, he loves that shit," Connor pointed out. "If you need a peace offering for interrupting..."

Duke's eyes flicked towards their fridge but he thought better of it. Not getting drunk was probably a safe bet if he wanted this to be taken seriously. Even if it would totally take the edge off. He lingered there for a second.

But no. Not a good idea.

He got in his car and made the same drive he had hours before. He gripped the steering wheel tight and thought about all the things he should say but nothing seemed to be the right order of words.

Any hope of the words coming together by the time he reached the condo were squashed when he saw the building and even the small amounts went completely blank. Maybe he could come back. Or, fake sick? No. Fucking Murphs and Tobi would never back him up on that one. He hated his life sometimes.

“ _Planning on coming in or just idling. Bad for environment, Anthony_.”

He didn’t text back, just turned the car off and opened the car door. He exhaled and inhaled slowly, aiming to not be hyperventilating by the time he got to the door. Orion was at the front door, as was Max, though only one of them looked happy to see him. He knelt down and let the dog get a good smell of him, lick his face and turn back to Max, tail wagging in Duke’s face. That was going to be a nice stuffed nose that evening.

Max had his arms crossed over each other, clearly ready to fight him if he needed to. Duke put his hands at his side. “Sorry, dude.”

“Say what?” Max said, clearly asking for him to repeat it for his own satisfaction.

“I’m _sorry_ ,” Duke said louder. “That I was a dick this morning.”

“You really were,” Max said. “What the fuck, dude?”

Duke looked around, not really surprised to find that there was no one around them. He still didn’t feel comfortable talking about this out in the open. He pointed towards the door. “Can we go in?”

Max gave him a look like he really didn’t want to let him in his house but after a long moment he shrugged and shifted to walk back into his place. Orion followed behind and Duke followed close behind them both. The place looked far cleaner than it had this morning, which was a bad sign. Max was an anger cleaner, or at least an anger organizer. From the likes of it, Duke was pretty freaking screwed.

“You get five minutes to explain what the hell this morning was,” Max said. “Because I kicked Brad out and I’m not that kind of dude. He made me pancakes, jack ass. Like, good ones. And I don’t think I’m going to be able to call him up again, because your dumb ass wouldn’t answer the phone and I was worried.”

Duke couldn’t make himself feel bad that Max had one less number in his phone. Which was actually the entire point of the conversation that needed to be had. He bit the inside of his cheek.

“I’ll learn to make pancakes,” he offered, Max raised an eyebrow.

“Four minutes,” Max said, though he wasn’t looking at a clock so it was probably just his own annoyance level keeping time.

“I’m bi,” Duke blurted out.

Max laughed. “Uh, yeah, fucker. Worlds. We had a heart to heart that ended in a hang over. You had a thing for Brayden, which dude. The guy’s hair was from the mid nineties…”

Duke didn’t even remember telling Max about that, and he didn’t have the heart to admit that he was just picking someone at random, as he couldn’t say, “ _You’re hella hot, Domi_.”

“I knew you were bi,” Duke said, swiping at the back of his neck. “I understood. But I didn’t uh… I didn’t _get it_. Then I saw you and Brad and I didn’t like it.”

Max furrowed his brow. “If this is some self hating biphobic bullshit I am really not okay with it… I’ll kick your freaking ass, actually.”

“I didn’t like seeing you with _Brad_ ,” Duke tried.

“Yeah, but you didn’t mind seeing me with any of the chicks I brought back with me,” Max pointed at him. “I mean, we lived together. You were chill with that girl Jenny I dated for a few weeks.”

 _No_ he thought. _I wasn’t. But it was easier to pretend._

He bit his lip and really really wished there was a way he could literally smack the information into Max’s head. Possibly with a tattoo on his hand that transferred. It would be easier, he thought, and a lot more satisfying. Instead he looked Max in the eyes.

“I can’t be a chick,” he said, and Max made to say something stupid so he held his hand up and covered Max’s mouth. “I can’t be a chick, so it was easier for me to tell myself that was what you wanted. Not a guy, a girl. That you wanted that. That you wouldn’t want _me_.”

He slowly lowered his hand and Max’s mouth was slack and opened. It was entirely unattractive, and yet somehow Max made it work. The fucker. Max’s eyes blinked slowly and after a minute or so his mouth slowly closed and then opened again.

“I’m sorry, what?”

Even Duke could hear the Canadian in his voice.

“So that’s why I was awkward this morning, why I didn’t answer my phone,” Duke said, looking away. “I wasn’t mad at you, I wanted to be but I wasn’t. I was mad at myself and could have punched _Brad_ in the face.”

“Why do you keep saying his name like that?”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “It sounds like a douchey frat boy name, who names their kid Brad? And don’t say the Richardsons, I know... “

Max laughed. “You are fucking weird.”

“Yes. And now that I’ve made an ass out of myself for the second time today, I will see myself out.”

He walked towards the door, swallowing and tightening his fist into balls and then releasing them. This wasn’t what he wanted, or even how he’d planned on telling Max (he’d planned on never telling him) but somehow the release of telling him felt somewhere beyond good. It felt like the closest he could get to _something with him_.

“Fuck,” Max said, softly from behind him.

He didn’t stop, but he slowed down. He kept walking until he hit the door.

“Fucking stop, okay?” Max said, louder a second time.

Duke turned around, finding Max staring at him. “What?”

“You think you’re the only one with a crush?”

“A _crush_?” Duke practically choked on the word. “That’s what you think I have on you, you fucker? A _crush_. I’m not practicing your name on paper here, Max. I don’t have time to daydream about a future. I’m in the here and now. And here? I’m with you. I’m with you all the time. I stay with you _all the time_. And I spend half the time thinking about what I can do to make you smile, half the time wondering when I’ll see you next.”

Max looked at him with a blank face. “Okay, sounds like a crush to me.”

“Fuck you, Max.”

He turned back around and put his hand on the doorknob, turning it. From behind him Orion came up and jumped on him. He batted him away.

“Down, Orion,” he rebuked. “Descendre de moi, mutt.”

A hand landed on his shoulder, and he was pulled back around. He frowned, opening his mouth to yell at Max but instead he found himself pushed against the door. Max’s mouth was warm and his taste was a little too sweet. For a brief second he almost stopped him to see if he’d taken his blood recently. Instead he lost himself to tongues and hands and the feeling of a Orion at their feet, pushing back and forth between the two of them.

Max was too warm, all over too warm. Max pushed his body towards Duke and it felt like he was leaning against a boiler. He was sweaty almost instantly, which was bizarre. He was losing his line of thought. He was just enjoying the feelings, the sensation.

“This isn’t a crush,” he said, pressing his lips against Max’s neck. “This isn’t a fucking crush.”

Max nuzzled at him, using his nose against Duke’s chin. “Naw, naw it really isn’t, is it?”

Duke laughed, loud enough that Orion yipped at their feet.

“Have you checked your blood sugar recently? Your breath is freaking sweet,” he said, his face inches away from Max’s. Max made a face.

“Is this your A game? Cause if so, no wonder you never get laid.”

Duke shoved at his shoulders. “I get laid plenty.”

“In the near future, if you play your cards right…”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

Max rolled his eyes. “I need a snack. Especially if we’re going to… Want peanut butter?”

Duke smiled, half a peanut butter sandwich before exercise. He nodded adamantly. They walked towards the kitchen. They were quiet, even though they both needed to talk, Duke just had no idea how to bring anything else up. Max grabbed a few things out of pantry and Duke went into the fridge to grab the milk. This part, at least, was something they’d done so many times it felt completely normal and comforting.

The sandwich made and cut in two, two glasses of milk, they sat on the breakfast bar with their legs hooking together on the high chairs.

“You really think this is a good idea?” Max asked, taking a long swig of milk.

Duke looked at his sandwich, he really hadn’t eaten much at all. “Maybe. Maybe not. I just know that when I came here I thought I would get nothing. I’d be cool just to get milk and peanut butter if that is what you want.”

“You freaking sap,” Max nudged him. “What if I wanted to make a thing with Brad. Would you be ‘cool’ with that?”

It felt a little like taking a shot of lemon juice, Duke made a face before he schooled it back to as neutral as he could. “If… that’s what you wanted.”

“Liar,” Max laughed. “Don’t worry, even if I did, which I don’t, he had one night stand written all over him… I doubt he was cool with me ranting about you, then freaking out about your for an hour before kicking him out.”

Duke couldn’t help but smile at that. “What a loss.”

“He really was a nice guy,” Max commented, taking another bite. “If a bit douchey.”

Duke didn’t take the bait. Instead he took a bite of his sandwich and a swig of his milk. “We can’t exactly live together, except on the road.”

“Live together talk on the first almost date, Anthony Duclair,” Max laughed.

“Fuck you, Max,” he smiled. “You were at least sort of thinking about it.

Max shrugged. “We have time to figure that shit out. For now I want to make sure we know the fallout of this.”

“Awkwardness on the ice, on the road, Tippet’s hair going grayer, Shane’s hair going greyer,” Duke ticked off. “I think I can handle it if you can.”

“I don’t want to lose you as my best friend,” Max said, turning to give him a serious look. “This isn’t a game, okay?”

“We don’t, then. We tell each other as soon as one of us gets in too deep. We listen to our friends… except Murphs,” Duke said, thinking back to the conversation between he and Tobi. “It’s either we don’t try and it hurts now or we do try and we risk the chance of it _might_ hurting later.”

Max shrugged and bit at his lower lip. “Well, when you put it that way.”

He stood up and then pulled Duke to his feet. Duke still had milk left.

He kissed him again, this time prepared for the warmth and the fact that he was all hands. He slipped his palm up the back of Max’s shirt and then down the jeans. Damn, the guy had an ass. He’d seen it before, so many times he’d lost count actually, but the feelings was definitely better than even what it looked like in underarmour.

“Upstairs,” Max said, pressing a kiss to just below Duke’s ear. “It’s less creepy when Orion doesn’t watch.”

Duke looked over to see Orion giving them the side eye something fierce. He laughed and pressed his head to Max’s shoulder. “And here I thought you’d be the one into voyeurism.”

Max didn’t bother to answer, grabbing him and bringing him up the stairs by one arm. (Not that Duke was fighting him much.) Duke watched Max’s ass as he went, enjoying how he didn’t have to pretend he wasn’t. Enjoying the fact that this was entirely his moment. He was almost at the door when Max turned around and poked at him.

“How about we try not to let this hurt in the future?” he asked, face serious and fingers sliding in between Dukes.

Duke felt a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach. “I’m all in, Max.”

Max pressed a kiss to his lips and pulled back. “Good.” They walked into Max’s bedroom, messy as hell like it usually was and Max led them through a path to his bed. “Well, unless you like it that way.”

“Wait… what?”

“If you like it to hurt, I can work with that,” Max winked.

Duke could not believe he was going to start a relationship with this dumbass, nor that it took this long to do it.

 

  
_I'm running from nothing, no thoughts in my mind  
_

  _Oh my heart was all black_

_But I saw something shine_

_Thought that part was yours, but it might just be mine_

_I could share it with you, if you gave me the time_

  _I'm all bloody knuckles, longing for home_

  _If it weren't for second chances, we'd all be alone_

_-_ Gregory Alan Isakov "second chances" 

**Author's Note:**

> Man have I been avoiding my HBB. I also just have a weird soft spot for Anthony Duclair and Max Domi. I think I could write a million of them. I want to write an AU of them, I want to write future fic, past fic, whatever. They make me all warm and fuzziness. 
> 
> For now, though, have weird domesticity and angst. 
> 
> Thank gosh for LuciFern and sly_fck or this would have languished in nothingness forever.


End file.
